Rose Parade

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Saturday, December 31, 2005

Out with the old, in with the new

Tomorrow is the first day of the new year and one of the nice things about January 1st is that it represents an almost universally recognized chance for a new beginning. It's like the start of a sports season, for one brief, beautiful moment everything gets set back to zero and everyone gets a fresh start before reality intrudes. I can really use a fresh start, more accurately I need to make some changes and January 1st is an obvious starting point. Also, since I'm putting it out here in writing I feel like that will make me more accountable. That's the one big change from previous years and their failed resolutions. One of my biggest faults can be summed up in one word: Procrastination. Procrastinators of the world I am your queen, it's that bad. I am all about the instant gratification, consequences be damned (or at least dealt with at a later date). This is really the root problem leading to most of my resolutions, the idea that I can always do ________ tomorrow. I can write tomorrow, I can start eating healthier tomorrow, I can hike Runyon Canyon tomorrow. But tomorrow becomes today and nothing gets done and then it's another year down the drain with nothing to show for it. This is a recording. So...(deep breath) are the official resolutions, things that I will address and adhere to starting January 1st (please please please): Diet: By diet I mean overall healthy, happy eating habits, as opposed to a specific, restrictive diet plan. I've done them and they don't work for me. Having said that, I need to drop some serious weight. Basically, I eat too much crap and not enough healthy stuff. I frequently eat for all the wrong reasons - I'm bored, I'm depressed, I'm fat, my apartment is too small, the Taco Bell commercial made me hungry for yummy greasy Mexican food, I hate spending the bulk of my life cooped up in an office doing non-creative work and therefore I deserve a treat or two or twenty. The list goes on. I've always been fortunate to be in good health, so far no major illnesses or injuries. But I know that as I get older I'm not going to be able to get away with not taking care of myself. Plus the weight just keeps creeping up and that's not a good thing, both in regards to health and the beating being heavy has inflicted on my self-esteem. If I would just eat decently the weight will come off slowly but surely and naturally and I would be a happy, healthy camper. The adjustments: No fast food (don't worry Liz, I'm not including Baja on that list, not at those prices anyway), no "junk" food (chips, sweets, non-nutritional crap like that). I will eat normal, healthy meals at normal times: breakfast, lunch and dinner. Snacks will be healthy items like the nice, juicy seedless red grapes I got at Bristol Farms the other day, yogurt, etc. I'll keep them handy at work so that I'm not tempted by muffins or bagels or anything else laying around the kitchen. And after ringing in the New Year with champagne, no alcohol. I like wine and unfortunately that doesn't help with the weight loss thing. Maybe for special occassions, but not on a regular basis. Plus, I need to drink more water anyway. The diet soft drinks, however, are staying for the time being. Also, the whole portion control thing must kick in. I also need to get some exercise. Any exercise at all would be an improvement. I sit at a desk all day, then come home and sit in front of the computer or TV all evening. I don't like working out, it's repetitive and boring and therefore isn't going to happen. I live just around the corner from Runyon Canyon and there's no reason I can't get off my ass and go hiking up there at least a few times per week. Except of course being lazy as hell. It's a gorgeous hike and can be done inside of an hour. It also wouldn't kill me to bust out the Ab Roller I got for free years ago and which has spent most of its lifetime stashed in the deepest, darkest recesses of my walk-in closet. Attitude: I am sorely in need of an attitude adjustment. I let every little thing get to me and sabotage my goals. I am so self-defeating. It's lazy and self-indulgent and I am way too good at feeling sorry for myself. I like to think that Wednesday was a sign of things to come, but I can't help but worrying that the first PMS episode of the year will seriously rain on this parade. But I'm gonna try. I refuse to apologize for being hyper-sensitive, it's just who I am, but I don't want it to screw me either. I think I just need to be more pro-active about keeping an awareness of the positive aspects of my life rather than focusing on what I feel like I'm missing. Writing: To put it bluntly, stop talking about it and do it. It's my love, it's something I enjoy doing and it's something I like to think I'm good at. So why do I neglect it? Because I'm a lazy, queen procrastinator, mainly. I have two half-completed feature scripts (one of which is practically a first draft) and no shortage of ideas. The two features need to be finished along with a couple of short scripts and short stories that I started but never finished. Plus, I've been wanting to write a 1-hour drama spec script. In order to do all of this I need to write on a regular - meaning daily - basis. I have fantastic training - despite having totally half-assed the program, I learned tons from attending Writers Boot Camp, IMO the best screenwriting program around. WBC's slogan is "The Secret to Writing... is Writing". It's as true as it is obvious. Reading: This may seem a bit out of place, not to mention unimportant, but it's something I really want to address. I used to read constantly, I could kill of huge chunks of a day armed with nothing more than a book. Even as a kid I read anything I could get my hands on. Then I bought my first computer and got on the internet and my reading time quickly dwindled to close to nothing. That hasn't stopped me from buying books, but they're not getting read, at least not thoroughly. That needs to change. I'm a fast reader, so I don't think it's unreasonable to go for one book a week. At the very least. Wow, I hope I don't regret posting all of this. Okay, I'm done. Bring on 2006!


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